My name is Brice and if you'd like you can email me at misplaced_emotion@yahoo.com or talk to me online. My AIM screen name is neverwakingdream. My profile there will tell you more about me if you are interested. Please do say anything in the box below. It's sort of a box for chat if you'd like to use it.

   


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I appreciate you coming to read about my experiences that I have shared with you. I encourage you to make comments on them. I'm interested in what you have to say.

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Tuesday, August 26, 2003
08/26/03 6:14 P.M.

Mmm, friends. I have good friends. With my good friends, I also have a vocab test in English II tomorrow. Yippee. I’m so psyched about that. I like my English class though. It’s real cool. I like all my classes actually. Yes, Farrah and I ARE back together. Don’t feel like typing anything else. -Brice


Posted at 06:32 pm by morningstar
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Monday, August 25, 2003
08/25/03 8:27 P.M.

Running away

From the truth you can’t bear to know.

Running away

From the anger you won’t show.

Too fallacious to admit

That it’s come the time to quit.

You’re sick of the enveloping fear.

Your time is drawing near.

Bitter Dominion – Enveloping Fear

Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday. School on Monday. Mom came home, acted strange. The usual.  -Brice


Posted at 08:40 pm by morningstar
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Sunday, August 24, 2003
08/24/03 7:30 P.M.

Who needs math homework anyway? I went home without my book again. Oops. I got home from Ty’s house some time around noon and did nothing but nothing all the livelong day. Rainy days and Sundays always get me down. -Brice


Posted at 07:35 pm by morningstar
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Saturday, August 23, 2003
08/23/03 9:25 P.M.

I am soo beat. I went all day on 3 hours of sleep. Tyler got me up before he went to soccer at 7 something. At that point in time, Anthony was already gone and Mrs. Provost had left for a bicycle race long before. I was so utterly alone at the house when he left with Garrett. I spent this time playing drums forever and ever and ever and ever. Man I got my double bass going SOO fast after a little while. It was insane! I never knew that my feet could move that fast. I played some crazy fast drum solos too because I found a really long, really thin, really light pair of drumsticks. Mrs. Provost was the first to come back home at around 12:30. She took me directly over to my house and I gave her some stuff to take back over with her. Then, you know what I did? I played guitar for awhile. All morning playing drums, I think it must have been time for guitar! I didn't really do much of anything until about 3:30 when I figured, "Hey, I have to be over at Hannah's house at 4:15 so that Mauri can come pick us up to go to Jennifer's party. So, why not just go over there now, I mean, I don't have anything better to do!" So that's exactly what I did (after showering of course). She didn't seem to mind too much. I just carried on conversation with her mother while she prepared herself. Mauri and her Mom and brother came shortly thereafter and then we were off. We stopped at the produce store and everyone got an apple (I like oranges, but I wasn't hungry anyway). So we got to Jennifer's house in Crestview a little bit after 5 P.M. and then we hung out there with everybody until 8. People were singing karaoke most of the time while others were sitting around watching the festivities (Hannah and I). Eventually I made my way to the acoustic guitar that I so deviously had planned on taking so I could play it (though I did get scolded by the owner, he told me to ask him first). I was dead tired by the time we got in the car a little bit after 8. I passed out three times along the way. We listened to Relient K on the way home (Mauri really, really likes them!). I thought the songs were pretty cool. I think I will listen to a little more of it. I wish I could have talked to them a little bit more without being so tired. I LIKE. It was a good time hanging out with them. -Brice

Posted at 09:58 pm by morningstar
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Friday, August 22, 2003
08/22/03 1:30 A.M.

It's really 1:30 A.M. on August 23rd right now but I'm going to call this August 22nd's entry because I just got to Tyler's house. My parents are out of town for the weekend so I am with Tyler for the duration. Today was awesome, and I expect tomorrow and the next day to be awesome too. Too much cool stuff is happening for me to not be happy right now. I can't help but totally enjoy myself. That's like 4 really good days in a row. I haven't had 4 really good days in a row since I can remember! Man, oh man. School rocked today. I did leave school without my mathbook yesterday but that's okay. It just made me happier because I didn't have to bog down my happiness with stupid math homework. My first class consisted of browsing the internet and secretly typing notes onto floppy disks and looking through people's online journals. I somehow finished my math homework before it was time to turn it in (my second class of the day). Don't ask me how, some supernatural force gave me the ability to get it done before we had to turn it in. Yet another awesome thing. After Algebra today, I had college success. See, now I used to absolutely HATE college success because the teacher was SUCH an anal retentive... woman. But here's where the good part comes into play, WE PERMANENTLY HAVE A NEW COLLEGE SUCCESS TEACHER! She is soo much cooler than the other one. This one actually made the class interesting instead of yelling at us about taking notes and threatening to kill our grade if we don't write in our school planner daily. This teacher actually had us play a game to get to know each other better called "Two Truths, One Lie." The idea was, each person would have to tell two things about themself that were true, and one thing that is not true about yourself, and then the people could ask you questions until eventually people made their guesses as to which was false and then we revealed which were true and which were false. Mine was very well done, I thought. You guys may be able to get it. Tell me your guesses and I will tell you later on.

1) I have been playing guitar for about 3 years and I own an Epiphone Les Paul Standard with upgraded pickups. I personally write all of my own original music which I have performed several times for various crowds of people. One time was actually performed for a couple of drunk guys at Lion's Park.

2) I was born in Bitburg, Germany in the year 1987. I have lived in the city of Niceville for 14 years and also in the very house that I am currently living in for 10 of those years.

3) Last year, my friend Tyler and I climbed up on top of the elementary school roof by way of a chain-link fence near a low spot. We both skated up there for awhile until a janitor noticed us and kicked us off. He seemed more concerned about the fact that we were skating rather than the fact that we were on the roof. He kept pointing to the "NO SKATEBOARDING OR ROLLERBLADING" sign and asking us what it said. Tyler responded to him with, "NO SKATTERBOARDING OR ROLLERBAGGING?"

From there I went to lunch. I can't really remember that too well. I know that I sat with Jay but that's ALL I remember about it. S.T.A.R. Lab was fantastic because, once again, I did ABSOLUTELY nothing. I just hung out with Jen the whole time. We talked about the show tonight and how it she would be going and it would be fun. Anyway, in English I got to do some more story-typing. As we all well know, I enjoy typing stories and such. In tomorrow's entry I will include the little scene I wrote for my class that we were to make up a character who is more than just "page-deep" as I like to put it. Mrs. Ridell calls it something else, of course, but that's what I like to call it. So after that the school day was over and my grandpa came to the school to pick up Marcus and I. He took Marcus over to somewhere near Marlena's house and then took me home and picked up the dogs. I played drums for a little while, waiting for Matt to make it over so we could practice some even though I knew already that there was no way we were going to play at the show. So four o'clock rolls around and I'm thinking, okay he's probably not going to come practice, which is totally fine by me because Farrah really needs me to come over. So, being the kind, caring individual that I am. Hop on my bicycle (I HATE IT!) and start heading that direction. On the way I run into a couple of skater bois who begin to ask me about the "big white van." They could swear that it was going to MY house. At this point I am JUST about to exit the neighborhood but now I have to go back because I must have left just as Matt was coming in. So I go back and sure enough there are Matt and Alix standing in the driveway just waiting. I have a quick conversation with Matt in which we decide that we aren't going to play of course. So I explain to Matt the situation with me needing to go over to Farrah's and he offers for me to stick my bike in the back of the van and take me most of the way there, which is exactly what he did. He took me all the way to the gate. That was mighty nice of him. He told me he would come back to my house at about 5:30 to pick me up for the show. Sounds good to me! I ride the rest of the 100 feet to Farrah's house and go in and converse for awhile. Until 5:15 rolls around, when it is time for me to head out, and her parents show up. Now, I'm not supposed to be there, right? Because only her grandmother was home and they have to have either of them there for me to be allowed in. So I'm basically screwed because her dad AND mom both show up at the same time and my bike is sitting out on the front porch. Hmm... Farrah says that I rode it to Tyler's, he wasn't home, so I dropped it off over there and went out??? I hide out in the closet until the time I'm supposed to be picked up by Matt. This is the part when I pull a Houdini and disappear. Only problem is I can't take my bike with me. They knew it was there. I'm now stuck with a 45-minute (at a fast pace) walk. 37 minutes later: I walk up to the gate guard and ask if the "big white van" had come through within the last little bit. She tells me that the van came in about half an hour ago but she can't remember it going out because she wasn't paying attention to the cars going out. I am in a frantic rush to get home from there, Did he wait? My house comes into view, I am the most excited I have ever been to see that gigantic white blob sitting in my driveway. I sprint the rest of the way. "THANK YOU, MATT! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!" I explained to him the whole deal with why I am so late after he asks me why the heck I'm walking because I had a bike before. It turns out they had gone to talk with Erin for awhile. It's nice to know that they were about to come looking for me rather than just go without me. Okay, so I grab a box of Capri Sun and take advantage of indoor plumbing for one last time before leaving. We hop into the boat at 6:20, we're going to be late now but fashionably late, at that. I'm sure they will figure out that we aren't playing after a little while of absolutely NO band members showing up. Matt had to go to the auto parts store to buy a new headlight so by the time he gets it and gets it installed it is 6:45. We are now ON THE WAY. We get there at 7:40 P.M. Not bad at all, we didn't miss anything. Life Left was playing when we got there. Seemingly at about mid-set. I greeted everyone that I knew and Jen introduced me to her friends. We went down to the Shell station looking for Peter and Willy because we saw them walking that direction on the way in but they seemed to have disappeared. When I came back, RotFest had just started setting up so I conversed a bit more. I went in and watched most of their set. They definitely do not lack character. The music was not my absolute favorite thing to listen to. It was like, death metal but instead of high pitched screaming it was all growl screams. They were surprisingly good instrumentalists. These guys look like they are at least in their twenties or something. The bassist / growl screamer James is nearing 7 feet tall, wearing a home-made costume consisting of a full leather something or other thing with shoulder pads with like 6-inch spikes coming off of them with arm gauntlets with spikes and the whole nine yards. Huge boots with all sorts of metal stuff in them and everything. Hair down well past his shoulders and a full beard. And when I say full beard, I mean like a FULL, more than Matt's ex-wolverine beard, kind of beard. Guess what? HE'S FIFTEEN!!! And just RECENTLY turned fifteen at that! I hear the exact same thing from three different people because I kept asking because I simply could not believe it. And I didn't believe it until I asked him himself. I had asked him how old they all were and how long they had been playing their instruments. This is basically what he tells me, "Yeah, I can answer that for ya. Let's see, I'm fifteen now, so I've been playing since I was about 11 or 12. And Jeremiah (the guitarist) has been playing for the same amount of time as me (graduated high school last year). And the drummerv(also a 15 year old sophomore) had JUST gotten his own drumset. I was simply amazed by all of this. This drummer was phenominal because of the fact that he had just started playing acoustic sets. I heard that he had played in the school band playing snare or something but in doing that, you don't learn how to do double bass so fast as he did and you don't learn how to do blast beats either. His blast beats were not nearly as fast as Matt's but still fast enough to be unbelievable because of how short of a time he had been playing. Wow... I'm still stuck on that. I just can't believe it. I can't. Okay, off of RotFest. I spent the rest of the time just talking because New Age Blasphemy played and they were only okay... Life Left was similar in style of music and was much better. Jen and Kel had to leave during their setup so I was sad to see them go. I said my goodbye's and then hung out with Matt again. We had some more conversation and whatnot and then the show was over. Ah it felt good not to have to load and unload stuff but man I sure wish the full band could have played. There were actually a good number of people there who came there mostly because they wanted to hear Bitter Dominion. The show was just as big as I thought it would be. I was just as disappointed as any about not playing. I still am... But, whatever man! I still had a great day! We went to Whataburger after the show and got some grub and then headed home. I took a nice long nap on the futon mattress against the side of the van. I slept all the way from Pensacola to Shalimar, where we dropped Chris off at his grandparents' house. It felt good to wake up and then have night breeze in my face coming in through the window. It really was blissful. We then took Alix back home and what not so then it was just Matt and I. I moved up to the front of the band so as to have a conversation with him a bit easier. We talked all the way back to Windward about plenty important stuff. Then I walked into the neighborhood and observed one of the biggest spiderwebs I had ever seen with an equally as big spider resting in the middle of it. Then, as I was walking toward Tyler's house I looked up and studied the stars and the clouds for a moment. What a great last image of the day...-Brice

Posted at 02:27 am by morningstar
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Thursday, August 21, 2003
08/21/03 10:07 P.M.

I am soo happy! Today was way too cool. I get to school and I am all happy because I can show off lots of pictures of the band to everybody. The desktop background on my laptop is now a picture of the band and I had a whole disc full of pictures from the show on July 24th to show everybody (THANK YOU FARRAH!!!). And then in my first class (American History) we chose our topic for our semester project which just so happened to be the one that I wanted because it is such a fun topic (The One-Subject law). Algebra was pretty easy stuff. Stuff I’ve done before so, nothing special. I did leave my book at school so I hope I had enough finished to be able to complete it at school tomorrow. Hmm. Biology was just notes today. That’s not bad at all with a laptop because I love typing! I WAS SOO DAMN EXCITED TODAY WHEN I SAW MY BROTHER AT OWCC!!! My brother James takes classes at OWCC on Tuesdays and Thursdays now! Even better, he eats lunch at the same time I do on Tuesdays and Thursdays. So I get to eat lunch with him then! I got to eat lunch with him today! WOW. Okay after that was S.T.A.R. Lab. That was totally fun because I spent the whole time talking to Jen and Cody and Hannah! They didn’t even bother me. The one lady did but I told her that I had just put my laptop away because I had just gotten done typing up my biology notes. When I was actually typing messages to my friends BWAH HA HA!!! After that was English which was a piece of cake because I got to do one of my favorite things in the world. I GOT TO TYPE A STORY!! It’s not finished yet but it will be a masterpiece. Afterwards, I came home and had practice (another great thing). We went out to the pawn shop and Wes got some new acoustic strings and I talked a bit with Matt and stuff. Then we went to Wendy’s to get some food (EXCELLENT) and then back home. When I got home I talked online with Lindsey, and Mauri, and Farrah for awhile. That lasted up until a certain point where I decided I was going to try to learn a crucial part of a song on guitar. It took me about 15 minutes but it was really difficult anyway so yay me. Yeah, it was a great day. -Brice


Posted at 10:36 pm by morningstar
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Wednesday, August 20, 2003
08/20/03 11:30 P.M.

Wow, what a much better day. Today has been so much better than any other day, ever. I went straight to Farrah’s after school and we hung out without fighting. The fact that we can talk without fighting and having a good time still is really very comforting to me. So I feel so much better now. We ate dinner at the Casa De Waffle together and then I went home. Got my boat anchor at school today. Actually it is not a boat anchor. The like to call it a laptop. It is a very old Gateway Solo that weighs about 10 or 11 lbs. or something. I really want to weigh it so I will know for sure that I have to carry a boat anchor around school with me everyday. Oh well. It works well… Slow, but well nevertheless. It has Windows XP Professional and everything so it’s still nice. Not too very exciting. I made another three friends today. Jen, Beth, and Nathan. Nathan and I have some stuff in common as far as what we are in to and stuff. We like pretty much the same music and stuff, it’s pretty neat. There is a guy at my school whose name is Gnat (like the annoying little bugs that hang around your face when you’re sweaty). He’s kind of the same thing only without having to be sweaty. Or that’s what they tell me at least. HAHA! Woo time to go to sleep. "Goodnight, sleep well!" -Brice


Posted at 11:57 pm by morningstar
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Tuesday, August 19, 2003
08/19/03 10:47 P.M.

The days get better but slowly at that. My friends praying for me every night and I thank them for it because it is helping me greatly. Today I just felt like I couldn’t do much right. I always felt like I was saying the wrong thing because it seemed that even if it was what she made out to be what she wanted to hear, I still was scolded for it. I withdrew from much conversation and that didn’t help either. It got better… I hung out some today. That was fun, up until my mom called me home for dinner. Dinner was good. I wanted to keep hanging out but oh well. I gave a guitar lesson today. That’s all that happened. I would like to tell you more, but I’m on the verge of passing out… So I leave you with this:

I cherish all the times we had.

I revive all the words you said.

Down these dated halls the candles glow.

And I’ll never let go.

I’ll never let go.

Memories engraved in stone.

I’ll never let go.

You mean too much to me.

Never let go.

Never let go.

Thoughts of you embedded in my head.

Living without you I’d be better off dead.

We’ve been through so much together.

Loss of you would mean lost forever.

I’ll never let go.

Memories engraved in stone.

I’ll never let go.

You mean too much to me.

Never let go.

Never let go.

Bitter Dominion: Never Let Go -Brice


Posted at 11:12 pm by morningstar
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Monday, August 18, 2003
08/18/03 10:45 P.M.

It is a horrible dream from which I will never awake...


Posted at 10:48 pm by morningstar
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Sunday, August 17, 2003
08/17/03 11:40 P.M.

And on the day of our one year and three months no less...I will never forgive you…

LOVE WILL DESTROY US ALL:

At one point in time,

I knew love was a failure,

but I didn't want to believe it was true.

I trusted my naive wisdom with an emotion so fragile.

It happened so quickly,

so much compassion lost in the blink of an eye.

So much said,

so much done.

Too little was felt,

nothing was won.

It seems I'm always a day late and a dollar short.

But it will never happen this way again... never again.

Love will destroy us all...


Posted at 11:47 pm by morningstar
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